just breathe.

so i kind of feel like i got the wind knocked out of me. i have experienced so many emotions and thoughts today, it's overwhelming. yesterday's encounter with serious poverty combined with today's journey into nairobi's slums mixed with the serious joy these people have has totally messed me up and leaves me completely humbled.

we visited two church services this morning. the first was at calvary christian church, which is the host church and building to calvary christian school which we've been supporting through ellie's run the past few years. it was great to be there, even surreal. we left our welcome early to catch the last half of the emmanuel church's service. emmanuel church is the host church behind emmanuel vocational school, which we have recently started supporting and helped to finish building. i talked with grace and naomi today, two of the ladies that go to the church and i asked them the story about rebuilding the vocational school. after the presidential election in 2007, there was an outbreak of voilence and kibera felt the brunt of it. the vocational school and pastor's home were set on fire and the church building was damaged. there were many things stolen. thankfully, no one was at the church at the time and no one was hurt. this was both a political, tribal and religious ordeal.

i met tito today, the director for african leadership in sudan, and hearing him talk about the challenges and starvation his family and community are facing blows me away. this is real. it's really real. and i'm the closest i've ever been to it. i've read and researched and poured the stats about all of these stories that take place in faraway lands, and now i'm looking at it, smelling it, holding it, conversing with it.

i don't understand many things. i don't understand slums or poverty. i don't understand near starvation. i don't know how anyone can justify war when you see the effects violence has on people. i don't understand how people with nothing have so much joy. it totally baffles me. not only do they have nothing, but they continually have more taken from them each day - that's the most mind-blowing part of it all. yet they still sing songs of thanksgiving and praise and thanks to Jesus. having nothing but Jesus = true happiness. a simple sunday school lesson, but it's hard to digest in real life. i love Jesus. i love how he is contrary to everything this world offers. America tells me to want more, to have more, to strive for more. Jesus tells me to drop my nets and follow Him. leave everything. have nothing. and even when it's taken from me, i praise him anyhow.

the kenyans have a simple phrase they quote often, regardless of where we go, "God is good all the time and all the time God is good, for that is his nature."

wow.